Cognitive Therapy & Community
I suspect the main shortcoming of cognitive therapy—the attempt to identify and replace false, harmful stories about ourselves and our lives with truth—is that it mostly is done independantly. I try to tell myself what is true, when I find myself believing lies.
But most—if not all—of the lies we believe are about ourselves as relational beings. And so they must be replaced, not with an abstract idea, but a concrete experience of love. I cannot just tell myself the truth. I need my community to tell me who I am. This is why love is central to the church. Not sentimentality, but speaking the Gospel to one another clearly. When I have forgotten who I am in Christ, I cannot force myself to believe a Bible verse. Not usually. Nor, I think, does God prefer such autonomous devotion. Instead, I need other Christians to look me in the eye and speak grace. I need them to remind me of the Cross and resurrection life, of my new identity as Beloved. They speak truth, and that is important—but with the speaking is the very experience of what is being spoken. This is also why we must have chrurches where it is safe to struggle. If I cannot be honest about my fears and failures, my community can never speak the truth and restore me gently. They can never help me replace lies with truth if I must wear a mask in order to be accepted. But a community where grace is the rule opens space for tremendous healing. Even in the knowledge that I can speak honestly about failure and doubt, I find the beginning of belief that I truly am accepted and welcomed by God.
